Growing Pains

I don’t remember growing pains as a child so it came as a surprise to me the first time one of my kids had them. I used to think it was just a figure of speech-growing pains. But then I had my first sleepless night with an adolescent who was writhing in pain in both his calves and knees. I called my doctor in the morning just to be sure I wasn’t dealing with some horrible unknown disease (yep, I still have those fears, even nearly 18 years in) and once the doctor ruled out injury (and I ruled out meningitis or bone cancer-seriously stay away from google at 2am), he informed me that what my kid was experiencing were indeed growing pains. His bones literally hurt from growing.

The more I work with people, the more I realize we all experience growing pains long after our bones have reached their final destination. It hurts to grow emotionally almost as much as physically. Change is hard and sometimes that means people will avoid it at all costs.

As someone who not only embraces change, but often in the past went chasing it, the fact that growth hurts me too would like surprise some people. It is true, I do love new experiences and often relish in differences and change. I mean, there is a reason I named myself Reinvention Girl all those years ago.

But the fact is, change and growth aren’t always the same. I learned that I chased after new things often to avoid the hard work of growing. Newness and transition were may safe places where I could hide from actually looking inside. Chaos was comfortable. The peace is what scared the heck out of me.

Years later, after enough time to look inside myself to heal and really grow, I can safely say that the pain is short-lived. It can be wildly uncomfortable to look inward and address our own reasons to change. Being stuck is awful but can also feel safer than moving forward, because moving forward means looking back.  With physical growing pains, massage and stretching often help relieve the pain. It’s the same with emotional growth, softness and stretching out the uncomfortable both bring freedom from the pain. This is why I promote time and space for self-care. Taking time to really examine ourselves helps us know what areas we need to grow. Taking time to be kind to ourselves helps us to heal in a way that allows that growth to take place. It’s hard work, but it yields great results.

Yes, growing is uncomfortable, but the payoff is totally worth it. I think my 6ft son would agree.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Interested in better managing the stress of change?

Get the latest tools and inspiration starting with our free guide for people who may be struggling through stages of life.

    Latest From Instagram

    Hi moms. Summer is flying by and I see y’all out there stressing over back to school (whatever that may look like). I get it. I'm in the same boat and wanted to help. There is no better way to forge ahead then to spend a bit of time tuning in. I created a mini-course to provide some tools to get through This Strange Time of BtoS Transitions. It's Called From Chaos to Calm and it's chock full of stuff to help you feel more calm and in control-even when it feels like everything is out of control. Check it out the link in bio. Share with anyone you know who might need it. . . #parentingtips #backtoschool #homeschool #distancelearning #parentingteens #mentalhealth #moms ...

    0 0

    Home office view no one ever sees because the camera faces away. This teletherapy life is interesting for sure! . . . #teletherapy #mentalhealthmatters #pandemicwork #psychotherapy ...

    0 0

    Something’s coming. Stay tuned-especially if you’re feeling overwhelmed about back to school (whatever that means.) . . #parenting #mindfulparenting #justbreathe ...

    0 0

    Some days, there is a tail on your yoga mat and you have to make the best of it. Choosing to focus on the fortune of having the option of zoom-yoga with a favorite instructor rather than the hassle of zoom yoga with a 90lb intruder. Attitude changes many things. What are you finding “work-arounds” for today? How are you changing your attitude? . . . #shiftyourgaze #dogsofinstagram #mindbodyconnection #integratedmentalhealth ...

    0 0

    It’s Monday. May we all face the week with as much excitement as a toddler with an ice-pop. 🥰 You got this. I know it feels hard and confusing but your mama power is unstoppable. Believe in you. . . #parenting #lovenotesformom #maternalmentalhealth ...

    0 1

    There’s a reason I say he’s my original mentor. I don’t know who to credit for this picture but I saw it and couldn’t pass it up! #feelingsarefine ...

    0 3

    What may be happening beneath your therapist’s screen during a telehealth session. So I’m told anyway. 😆😆 ...

    0 0

    Literally a snapshot of a trauma therapist. Some books are newer and some are well-loved and constantly referenced. What’s missing is the indulgent fiction on my kindle. Everyone needs an escape from the heavy now and then, right? I get mine reading fluff before sleep. What are you reading? Do you have a work stack and a life stack like me? . . . #traumainformed #mentalhealth #traumayogatherapy #mindbody ...

    0 4