Being a mom is a rewarding yet demanding journey, often filled with moments of self-doubt and guilt. Many mothers experience mom guilt when they struggle to balance their time and attention between their children, work, and personal needs.

I feel so guilty about ______” said every mom I know at one time or another.

I am restarting my podcast with a new spin that required gathering some burning questions from moms on Instagram. Whether the question was about balancing work and home or how to stop yelling at my kids, or what food to choose, the common throughline for every single question was, you guessed it, mom guilt. No matter what the mom was doing, they felt guilty for not doing the other thing. Whatever they perceived that other thing to be.

It’s an epidemic, mom guilt, and I am on a mission to offer some cures.

Look, I’d be lying if I said I never felt it. Sure, it has been hard over the years to be in three places at once. Inevitably, I have felt bad for the kid or kids who miss out on my time as I show up for their sibling. And, yes, I have been susceptible to the guilt that creeps in when I am working instead of “momming”, especially when I’m enjoying my work, or choosing it over home time.

I’m here to tell you, that I have learned myself and witnessed in others that our mom guilt helps no one.

We can’t be everything to everyone, nor can we be all places at all times. It is impossible. No generation of mother has ever done it-even the best of them. The more we try to meet some unreasonable (and likely based on nothing factual) expectation, the more we hurt ourselves and teach our children poor self-image. If we keep assuming we don’t measure up, we’re teaching them they never will either.

I know you know this, though. So, how do we change it?

First, cut yourself some slack for feeling it. Like I tell many of my clients who come in, doing the work doesn’t mean you completely escape the feelings, it just means you learn how to cope with them.

Guilt is kinda baked in to the gig. After generations of ridiculous expectations for women and mothers, we are shaking up the status quo and in that we have to be prepared to slay some generational dragons, like guilt. So, no feeling guilty for feeling guilty, got it.

Instead, simply acknowledge the guilty feelings when they come up. Use them as a reminder to check-in with your choices. Are you trying to do too much? Are you expecting too much? Is the guilt because you want to do more or because you think you should? Finally, is it guilt because you aren’t something or somewhere, or is it really frustration that you’re being asked to do the impossible?

Then, no matter the answers, put your hand over your heart, close your eyes, breathe in deeply and thank your body for doing all that it does. What a miracle you are. You do so much. For so many. It is always enough. Remind yourself of that.

If you need support and an empathetic ear to your parenting woes, check out my services page and reach out for a complimentary 15 minute discovery call.